It’s been a year. I’ve been reflecting on what’s happened to me physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I can now categorize things pretty easily using “before and after cancer” columns. You may find that sad, but it’s not. It’s clarifying. In some odd way, the last six months has given me a sense of control in an uncontrollable circumstance. I haven’t talked a lot lately about how I’ve been feeling, so I thought I’d wrap things up at the end of this enlightening year.

There are things cancer took away. 

My income. I lost 2/3 of it this year. I pray to God my clients will return and I can keep my business open. I’ve never borrowed or utilized credit to fund my business and I still refuse to do so. I typically pledge part of my income to various charities and my church. I wasn’t able to fulfill those this year and that stings.

Trust in the medical system. Growing up, my family managed a prestigious medical practice. They did things with integrity, compassion, and to the best of their ability. I’ve had to coordinate most of my own care and have left appointments wondering where the compassion went? I’m curious how those without medical knowledge manage?

Control of my pain. Without going into excruciating detail, I can no longer take medication I was on for decades to control another very uncomfortable condition because of my diagnosis. This has caused a lot of uncomfortable symptoms to return on top of everything else.

My stamina. It’s coming back. But it’s taking too long.

My dignity. I’m a nurse who is used to seeing people without clothing. But when every appointment involves others looking at and/or touching your chest, it gets odd. And you know everyone else is wondering what you look like, too. Trust me, it all looks weird now.

Family and Friends. I can’t talk about this. But it’s true, cancer is the great revealer.

This next list is longer. Cancer gave me a lot more in return.

Faith. God has pulled me through each and every procedure, obstacle, surgery, treatment, scan, and all the other mess I’ve gone through. All glory goes to Him and my faith is stronger than ever.

Family and Friends. There are so many of you. Caring, faith-filled, abundantly loving, GOOD people who just show up. Thank you will never be enough.

Trust in my strength. I didn’t know it was there and I could do these hard things? But I did! And that’s pretty badass.

“You look amazing!” Did you know you can look like you’re not fighting cancer?! Not every patient loses hair. I can’t tell you now many times I’ve been asked when I was going to lose my hair or if I was wearing a wig? Nope! But ask me about the stress and endocrine therapy-induced hair loss and I’ll be glad to show you my shower floor. I’ve lost a decent amount of hair. I’ve also lost a good amount of weight. I’m thankful I’m defying society’s perceptions and can look great when I haven’t felt that way! Another reason to treat others with kindness. You never know what someone is going through.

Feelings. I have a lot of them and turns out that’s a normal thing when you go through something like this. I will not be ashamed of my feelings and will state them instead of bottling them up.

More compassion. I thought I was compassionate before, but I’ve put my foot in my mouth on occasion. It wasn’t intentional, I just didn’t know the insider info so personally. I do now and I’m sorry.

The need for laughter.  I crave silliness, laughter, and all the inappropriate jokes. If you can’t have fun, what’s the point?

Serving. Even when I really didn’t feel like it, I’ve needed to serve others. Normalcy allowed me to step away from the things I was facing and when I could show up, I did. Thank you to those who allowed me to serve in my community, at the race track, and at church!

Clarity. I like the way I see life now. It’s simplified, black and white. Love a lot. Give much. Laugh. Praise Jesus.

I’m excited to open my schedule beginning in Spring 2026! Ready to book your session? Click here!

Thank you, Sarah Lordi, for our beautiful portraits as I recovered from surgery this past summer. I adore you.